"The Ones that Call Me Mommy."

A mother.

I don’t think there’s a one size fits all definition. There are expecting mamas, mamas with one to several children, foster mamas, mamas that said goodbye too early, and grandmamas! Quite possibly one day your daughter could be a mama of her own. Never the less, I’ve come to notice that all mamas have something incredible, in common!

They have been given a gift. A miracle. They are to be the guiding light of a precious little life that will one day, you hope, makes the most out of what you’ve given them.

In Psalm 139:14, it says “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

Psalm 139 is one I read over and over while I was pregnant with each child. I highlighted and underlined it so many times. I could camp out right here in the Bible and see that the Psalmist who wrote this, knew that a person’s life has SO much purpose! That he knew God loves us even before we were born. In fact, my mother was the one who told me to read it because that's what she did when she was pregnant with my sister and I. What a joy it must have been to see and feel two babies growing inside of you!

Growing is where you get to see the miracles in action!

I believe that as the child grows, so do we. At first, we start out nervous and talk to every mom we know to get the 4-1-1 on all the baby essentials. The baby registry had everything we thought we needed, to be adequately prepared for everything and anything. Then when the baby arrives you have all this stuff you can barely cram into your living room, all for one little 8-pound baby!

Your world revolves around this child, you follow them wherever they move. You let them sleep in your bed and create all the bad habits experts say not to because, you are just trying to “survive” through sleep-deprived and lack of caffeine moments throughout the first year. Then, in my case, the second baby comes and you somehow take fewer naps and are learning to clean a house with a baby on your hip while following your toddler around with a Swiffer vac. and eating your kid’s leftovers from lunch. Once the third comes along, forget it! Any “me” time you once had, is now resulting in more frequent bathroom breaks because you just need some peace and quiet or to brush your teeth for the day!

Or in my case -- longer runs are my "me-time".

Then, once my daughters started school, they also inevitably started sports and our schedules have revolved around that, on top of everything else, since then. I asked myself, “What sports gear do they need? Did I get the right size soccer ball? What moms can I befriend at soccer because it looks like I am in it here for the long hall!? And what does a team mom do?” Then we went through a travel ball season which is exciting but exhausting, on top of regular school sports seasons.

All to keep in mind, that as they grow, I learn and grow too!

I have learned an incredible amount on how to be patient, learn to listen, make crafts, make messes and be ok with it, laugh at someone saying “who tooted!”, or learn to be flexible -- go with the flow. I still, don’t know why bedtime will always be a surprise for everyone! Every time I ask my kids to go to bed, it’s like they forgot how from the night before!

I’ve learned a lot from other moms too, to help make each stage of life not seem so much like an earthquake just shook the house. But the most important thing I have and still have to learn is forgiveness.

My grandmother had 16 children. Yes, I said 16 (super Irish Catholic!) and my mom is #9! I went to go visit her, about a year ago, before she passed away. As I sat with her looking through old pictures, I asked her, “What advice do you have for me, as a mother?”

I mean, with 16 kids, she's basically an expert! Then she replied, “Learn to forgive them and most importantly -- learn to forgive yourself.”

That stung me and it swelled up in my heart. I knew that’s what I needed to do. A mom’s life can be so busy trying to juggle it all and make the “right” choices. I have taken my fair share of “mom fails” and “bad mom” moments, trust me. It sounds a whole lot easier said than done, to forgive myself for the mistakes I make as a parent; but that’s what I needed to do. When I heard those soft-spoken words come out of her mouth with a smile, I knew she, she knew, something I didn’t learn yet.

Am I always going to come up short?

Probably…. Most likely…. And YES!

But here’s the good news! I am still learning and growing too. I admire my mother and my mother in law who still continue to nurture us, listen to us, and mold us into becoming better versions of ourselves. My mother has never missed a race I had. I ran a half marathon last week, and there she was along my course with water in hand and waited for me along the finish line. The things mamas do for their kids to show them how much they believe in them and mean to them. They are in our corner and are rooting for us, even when life knocks us down. We get to do that for our kids too!!

Listen, you and I are parenting for the kid you were meant to have, not for Sally or Billy next door. You were made to parent these kids, and God gave them to you for a very special reason. Every mama goes through their own struggles and challenges but God wants us to know that we are not alone in this. I love thinking about the meaning of baby names and one name in particular stands out. The name Jesus, which means Immanuel, “God with us”. (Matthew 1)

If God is with us, then what can stand against us, mothers? There will be times we struggle

and lose it, but the hope is that God is with us! Our Father in Heaven, is here holding our hands through the messy, sad, tired, happy, and the exciting fun parts of parenting. He can work through us to give us creative wisdom on how to parent these little miracles so that they grow into the person they are destined to be!

Here’s the challenge I think most of us mom’s face, is to not be so hard on ourselves! Enough is enough! I have got to stop doing that because that’s something I don’t want my kids to do, to themselves. Learning as a parent is much like a kid. Somedays we need a time out to recoup.....to gain perspective. I know being in the word, can help increase my faith and help me in my journey of being a mother.

I also want you to know that if you don’t think someone notices all that you do, God does.

God notices what you are doing for your family. He notices you don’t go to bed at night until everyone in the house is sound asleep and safe at home. He notices when you stay up late to make sure everyone has everything washed, lunches packed, and everything ready for what they need, the next day. He cares for you even if you have spit up all down your shirt and haven’t showered in days. He sees you when you haven’t been sleeping well. God wants you to know it says in His Word, “The one who watches over you never sleeps.” When you don’t sleep, neither does He. You can give all your worries to Him because like the miracle God gave the world -- Jesus, so you would know that God is with you! To the mamas that have teenagers who think, “When will these hormones end!?”... I get that! God gets that and will help give you the courage to love them, even if it’s giving them the tough love they need.

During this strange time and social distancing, I am thankful to have all the busy - extra things in life stop for a little while. It’s truly an incredibly unique experience that I’ve never thought I'd have with my children. I know I can joke and say social distancing is not going by fast enough but that would be a lie. I am embracing the time with my family because I am seeing without so many distractions for the first time, what matters most to me.

The ones that call me mommy.

I hope you find peace knowing that God created you--- for your children, with a purpose to be their mother! You are doing one amazing job! You are the right person for it and don’t ever doubt that! Only you can do what you do! You are loved and you are molding a miracle that has already brought so much joy to so many! Keep it up, all you beautiful mamas!

Happy Mother’s Day!

Love

Jackie

Dear Heavenly Father,

I thank you for all the moms out there who are being honored today and everyday. I ask that you would give them strength, wisdom, patience, and the faith to seek you when times get tough. I pray for the mothers who are hurting, may you be the light unto their paths. I pray for the mothers not getting much sleep, that you would give them abundant energy today, despite their lack of sleep. I thank you Lord, for the moms who have helped me learn to be the best mother, I can be to my children. I ask that you would forgive me for the things I do wrong and help me make it right. Teach me how to parent my children and teach them Your ways. I pray that they know they are fearfully and wonderfully made, when doubt creeps in. I thank you for these precious miracles, that call me mommy.

In Jesus name

Amen.